One year ago today is the day that changed my life forever. May sound dramatic, but boy is it true.

One year ago today, I sat in my room debating if I should take the dreaded pregnancy test or not. I told Chris I wasn't going to take it (what's the point?), and so he left for work like any other day. I fought with myself - do I take it and be sad, or do I avoid taking it but think about "what if" all day?

I decided to take the test. 

Not convinced that the results would be any different than the hundreds of other times, I turned on the shower to proceed with my normal daily routine. I took the test, sat it on the counter, and went on my way. Fully undressed, and seconds from stepping foot in the shower; heart beating out of my chest, but already convinced that I knew what I would see, I picked up the test.

Much to my surprise, and what I thought to be the most shocking news of my life, I was holding a positive pregnancy test. Positive. After nearly three years of not ovulating, negative tests, acupuncture, clomid - hoping, praying, crying, and nearly losing myself - I was staring at a positive pregnancy test.

I will never forget that day. The 100 times I said OMG and looked at myself in the mirror, the phone call I made to Chris telling him to come home, the fear that it may not be true, everything. Every moment, feeling, and thought - I will never forget it.

And now I'm here, sitting next to my two boys (yes, finding out there were TWO was actually the most shocking day) and beyond grateful for the life I have been blessed with.

I'm not going to sugar coat it, life has been crazy and hard, and crazy and hard. But really, in the most beautiful way. God knew what he was doing when he made me wait. I learned so much through our journey with infertility... and I feel like I am much more patient and kind and appreciative of the two boys I now call my own.

I actually still can't believe it. Weekly (and I'm not kidding), Chris and I say - can you believe they are ours? I can't. I can't believe that we finally have babies... and I can't believe that I'm saying babies (plural) and not baby.

Life is a roller coaster, isn't it? If you would have asked me in February of last year if I thought I would be sitting here with babies, I would not have hesitated when I told you no. But one year ago today, my (our) story changed.

And now we write the next chapter. Chaotic, sleep-deprived, multi-tasking chapter. We're here, and we're proud!

Thanks for being a part of our story.

2 comments

  1. Life is beautiful my friend, babies teach us a new kind of love.

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    Replies
    1. Life is so beautiful, and absolutely babies teach us a new love!

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