Hey. Happy Monday!

So, it's been a little over a month since I shared an update on our journey. If you're not sure what "journey", or recently started following the blog, you can find my very first post about our struggle with infertility here


I was hoping that between the last update and this one I would be able to announce to you guys that we are pregnant. Unfortunately, we are not. BUT, we did record a short little video for you... and I'm thinking it might be our new thing. 

I enjoy being able to share our life with y'all, and I think the video is a great addition. Plus, what better way to look back on our story one day? Thanks to my sister and mom for the encouragement to record it, and share it! Like my sister said, I may be helping someone else by putting it out there. I mean, Eleni with Convey the Moment is the one who inspired me to share our struggles. 

Stop by and show her some love. She recently welcomed her baby girl into the world, and she's the sweetest. 

I'll quit rambling and get to the point of this post. Video first, and then I'll explain.


So, as you heard (and saw) from the video, Chris and I did our first at home trigger shot. We were scared to death, but in reality, it wasn't that bad. Chris acted all cool | calm | collected in the video, but I could tell he was nervous. Gotta love him for staying chill for me! 

Now all the details of how this came about. 

A while ago we started our fertility treatments with Dr. Pinto. We met with him, time and time again, discussed our options, ran a ton of tests, and then moved forward with the first and lease invasive treatment. We (I) began taking clomid. Basically I take clomid for 5 days, go in for a sonogram to see if my follicles are growing, and if so proceed with a trigger shot. The "trigger" tells your body to release an egg. 

If your body listens (which apparently mine is a bit stubborn!), and you follow the doctors directions, you should become pregnant. 

This time, which is what the video reflects, was our third round of clomid. And this time my body ran a little behind schedule. I went in after my 5 days of clomid and my follicles weren't large enough. I went back again (on my birthday), and my follicle (which was previously follicles) was almost at the size they would like. So instead of the doctor giving me the shot, she decided I should wait until the next day, and do it myself. Holy shit. What?! For real? Do people do this? 

Of course I knew they did, but I was hoping we wouldn't have to do that. Lord help us if we have to move on to injectables. I was a nervous freaking wreck. I didn't even sleep the night before, woke up at the crack of dawn, and impatiently waited for Chris to wake up to give me the shot. 

After freaking out about it for over a day, it finally happened. And it wasn't bad at all! All of that stress and worry for no reason. If you're reading this post and you are in a similar boat, do not be afraid of the shot! It's not bad at all, promise. The needle was tiny and it lasted about 3 seconds. Now, is it something I want to do over and over again? Hell no. But if we have to, I'll be more chill about it in the future. 

So anyway, you basically get the gist of all of that in the video. 

What isn't in the video is the next 14 days. It's a waiting game. You wait for 14 days and then take a pregnancy test. Round 1 and 2 of clomid, this was exciting. How fast can 14 days go by. Can I take a test yet?! 

Third round of clomid is a bit different. The task of taking a pregnancy test becomes daunting. You want to take it, but you don't at the same time. You're afraid that those very bold, very intimidating words NOT PREGNANT will hit the screen and leave you feeling empty. 

You don't want to take it because you want to continue with the hope and possibility that you may be pregnant

And then you take it, which we did on Friday, and those very bold words, NOT PREGNANT hit me like a freight train. Again? Another month of disappointment. Another month of wondering why/how? 

Life is not fair you guys. It's really not. And it's really hard to understand why this is happening, and why we were chosen to walk this journey. The even harder part, trying to tell yourself you don't need to know why. You don't need to worry, and you need to trust that it will happen in His time. 

Aren't we deserving of this life to become parents? I want to be Mom. I want to see Chris as a Dad. I want to watch us become parents together. 

So with another month passing, I take a deep breath and enjoy the life I do live. I continue to share our journey, document my thoughts and pray that in good time, we will have our baby. 

And if you're walking this journey alongside us. We pray for you too. All in good time.

Until next time. 

8 comments

  1. Oh friend, this is so brave and amazing of you to share. You are helping people, just as your friend who welcomed a baby girl, did for you. Your time will come, and when the day comes that it says, "pregnant", it will give you chills and be the BEST day. It is coming! I have faith, and hope, that the time that is meant to be, and the baby that is meant to be yours, will come.

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    1. Thanks, Meagan! I enjoy sharing our journey because so many people have reached out, and I can only hope that one of my posts will help someone else. I can't wait for that day! I know it's coming, I just need to be patient... which is very hard for me! :) Thanks for the constant support.

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  2. We haven't spoken in years! But you're journey is so inspiring. My husband and I became pregnant without even ((purposely)) trying and it breaks my heart to see you going through this. It truly makes me realize how blessed we were. You're such a brave woman and I know you will make a great mother someday ((soon)). I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I wish NOTHING but the best for you and your family. Keep you head up! Your destined to be a mother.. one way or another!! - Korie Tyler

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    1. Thank you, Korie! Honestly, I truly feel amazed as well, when I hear that others didn't try much (if at all). It's incredible really, because so many things have to align for it to happen! It makes me realize what a miracle it really is.

      I appreciate your kind words and prayers. Hearing from friends (and strangers!) makes this journey just a little bit easier. It's incredible to know that I am surrounded by such genuine people.

      Hugs.

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  3. Just a note to let you know that I enjoy your blogs. Garry and I went through the same trials for 3 years.....then God blessed us with a 3 day old baby. I pray for 5 couples each day to get pregnant. One couple just got the news that they are having a baby!!! You keep trying and all of us will continue to pray!!

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    1. Thank you, Linda! And after all these years I had no idea that you were blessed with Taylor at 3 days old. That's incredible!

      We appreciate the prayers!

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  4. Steph,

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I have a good friend who was told that she coukdnt concieve due to endometriosis. She cried form months. Then she threw away her birth control pills. There is no point in taking them because I can't conceive. She went on with her life and forgot about it. 6 months later she discovered that she was pregnant! Today she and her husband have 2 healthy sons: 6 and 8 years old. My friend stay positive. The time will come, and I'm sure you'll hold a lovely baby in your arms soon enough.

    Jennifer
    Sassyteacherchic.com

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    1. Thanks for sharing your friends experience, Jennifer! I'm glad they had success and I know that in time, Chris and I will as well.

      I appreciate you reading and sharing.

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