It's October. Dang, y'all! I didn't realize how long it had been since I wrote a blog post until my Mom told me the other day that she missed the blog. 

Photo via: Little Laugh Box

I do too. 

So where do we go from here? 

I have always let this blog grow with me; from posting outfit inspiration to struggling with infertility, becoming a Mom to twins, experiencing a tragedy, and finally opening up about my faith. 

It went from a casual surface-level blog to a deep, deep dive into my life and real life struggles. I like sharing those real life struggles and experiences with you but it takes a lot of courage, emotions and build up to get one of those blog posts written. And to be transparent, I have been trying to heal the wound of losing Jordan for the last year and half, and I didn't have much to give anywhere else. 

And then recently there was another tragedy. One of my best friends lost her Mom very unexpectedly, and the wound was sliced back open. It is hard to openly say this because I have lost a lot of important people in my life over the last year and a half, but this most recent loss hit me like a freight train. The shock and fogginess of losing Jordan gave me a numbness that I honestly didn't know was there for all of those other losses. And then I got the call about Joni and quickly realized I have been walking around in a state of shock, confusion and fogginess since my brother left us, and just when my heart was mending life threw me another curve ball. 

I say all of this to basically say that I am sorry I have been MIA. I haven't known what to write about. I have taken the last year of my life and given it to God. I have been building my trust in Him, reflecting on myself and my life, and making some changes that make me feel like a better me. 

I cherish my family more than I think they will ever know, and I am committed to putting forth all of the effort needed to continue my lifelong friendships. I was exhausted from the busyness of life (sometimes unnecessary), the highlight reels of social media, and all the negativity floating around. To be quite frank, I just wanted to live a happy (truly happy) life and that is what I have been working on since 2019. 

I went part-time at my design firm so that I could spend two extra days with my boys, and I couldn't be happier. I planned a 4-day trip to Nashville with a few of my girlfriends (so much fun)! Basically I have been doing more of what I want when I want. Life the last couple of months have been much more freeing for me and I can see a different side of myself, one that I have been trying to find for quite some time. 

I am more open about my faith and relationship with Jesus; I set a goal to read the bible from cover to cover, and I'm doing it - even if its slowly. 

So again, I apologize for not being as active on here but I had to grow and evolve with the changes life brought to me. That takes time and focus and digging deep into your soul. 

Y'all will always be my people and this will always be my blog. 

Posts may be inconsistent and random, but we aren't going anywhere. I have a long list of fun things to do in Nashville so let's count on that being the next post. Lighthearted and fun! 

Until next time, friends. 
Steph 

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